Karyn had been in a long term relationship with her partner when the couple decided they wanted to have children. They looked at a number of treatments and decided to go down the route of IVF. However, shortly before they were due to have IVF, her partner decided he didn’t want any more children.
Despite her relationship ending, Karyn was determined to have a child and decided to go down the route of a single adopter. She adopted an 11-month-old girl through the Western Bay adoption service, who came to her new home just before Christmas in 2019.
Karyn works as a social worker and understood the process better than others. The newly formed family are enjoying every moment of this new chapter in their lives and are hoping to create long lasting memories.
This is Karyn’s story…
“I was in a long term relationship with my partner at the time and we wanted to have children but unfortunately we weren’t able to. I was due to have IVF when my partner decided he didn’t want to have more children. I had a great relationship with my stepchildren, so I knew that I wanted children, I took some time out and then decided to apply to become a single adopter.
“I adopted an 11-month old girl. She came to me before Christmas, which was lovely because we got to spend her first Christmas and more importantly her first birthday together. If you look back at our pictures now, we look a bit like startled rabbits in headlights! It was lovely though and it really allowed us to settle in together.
“When I put the adoption application in, I was approved to adopt a child up to three years old. In my mind, it didn’t matter how old the child was, I wanted to ensure it was right for me and right for the child, which is more important.
“When you adopt an older child, they tend to have more of an understanding about their life journey and what they may have been through which you can then offer support for. I was lucky as I was able to meet with my child’s birth mother and asked questions that the official reports didn’t share, like her pregnancy cravings, all the things I know from my mum and more importantly, it meant I was able to answer my little girl’s questions about what her birth mum is like.
“Her first birthday was a few weeks after she moved in with me and her second birthday was in lockdown so weren’t able to celebrate how we wanted to which was a shame, but we have been able to go on lots of days out. She loves being out and about and she can name almost every bird out there. It’s great to be able to share these moments together and see how excited she gets by being curious and learning about the world.
“She is such a bubbly child and anyone that looked at her as a baby would get giggles. When I did first meet her, she had just started walking and it all just felt so surreal. We were in a room with the foster carer and the other professionals. When they left the room, we played a little bit and she fell asleep in my arms. It’s a moment I’ll always cherish and remember.
“When we did come home it was very overwhelming. All my family and friends have been on this journey with me, having been to lots of adoption meetings and the breakdown of my relationship. I woke up to dozens of bouquets of flowers and congratulations cards. Suddenly you realise that you are a parent, even if it’s not your birth child. It made it all feel real and I had to go through it all myself, so my family and friends really made that moment feel special.
"The connection we have has grown from strength to strength. I cannot imagine life without her and she has made me complete. I never thought I’d have the opportunity to have this but I’m so grateful for what we have. I feel really privileged to have the opportunity to care and love for my daughter.”