"We're going to be really good dads and give our son an amazing life."


Are you scared or nervous?

Alan: I'm not at all, I'm really excited! Maybe I'm being naive, but I'm happy being excited! I'm totally besotted with him already and I haven't even met him. So if I'm like that over one photo, I can't even imagine what I'm going to be like when I see him.

Rick: It's strange to think that you love someone you haven't even met yet, but I just feel like I'm just waiting for our son to come home. 

Alan: All we know at the moment is that he is 20 months, he's ahead of all of his milestones and he's really gorgeous, he looks just like me! 

Rick: Spookily like him actually, we've got photo of Alan as a toddler and comparing the photos it's quite spooky how similar they are. The same cheeky face! 

Alan: There was a point where we had two or three that were possibilities and when our social worker came and discussed things through with us we knew it was going to be him. She said I knew you were going to pick him because he smiled at me with your smiles.

 

What has your experience of the process been like?

Alan: We always knew we were going to have kids. Obviously we've always known that we can't conceive so we've always talked about the options along the way. For years, gay people couldn't adopt at all. We thought perhaps we'd only be offered older children, or children who maybe needed a bit more care and all the babies would go to straight couples. Straight off the mark, that wasn't the case. 

Rick: I never felt like I was being assessed throughout the whole process, it just felt like someone was coming round and getting to know us. They want adoptive parents! The reason they question you is so that you are fully prepared for the scenarios ahead. I think every parent should go through it, because it really makes you think about what kind of parent you're going to be. It's prompted us to think about things before being in the situation, rather than having to just deal with it there and then.

 

How do you think other children will react to two dads?

Rick: I think being gay isn't abnormal to kids these days. My sister had overheard my nephew talking to one of his friends about our wedding photo. It means nothing to them, it's just thats's his uncle who married another man. 

Alan: Kids grow up in the world the way it is. So as much as parents at the school gate might be a bit surprised, kids will just accept it. Adoption to us I think is a two sided thing. It's the chance for us to have the family that we've always wanted and give him that life that he wouldn't have had if we hadn't considered adoption.

 

Our social worker said she knew we were going to pick him because he smiled at her with our smiles.

Taking the next step

View the FAQs about adoption Frequently asked questions
Speak to an adoption advisor Find your nearest adoption agency

By using this site, you accept its use of cookies | Tell me more | I understand, don't display this message again